Will You Bear My Child?
by alphazodiac
Summary: InuYasha finds himself... Expecting? Miroku's POV with yaoi overtones, ooh la la! Read and review if you dig. Third chapter: Morning Sickness.
1. A Kiss and Then a Bite

Okay, alright, so there I was, right? I was sitting on the ground, I was happy, you know? So, Kagome's yelling at InuYasha again. All either of them can do is bitch about everything. It's insufferable. I mean, if I'd had my way, Kagome would be at least... God, I don't know, at least six months expecting by now. InuYasha has seriously recieved a gift to even be tolerated by a girl like that, but he's too busy complaining to mate with her, pathetic.

"InuYasha, go take a bath!"

InuYasha shook his head, and a small cloud of dust puffed out of his pale locks.

"No, I don't need you to order me around, I'm not even dirty!"

I sighed again and laid my head down. Kagome had literally grabbed Inu-chan by the hair and was dragging him in the direction of the river.

"Stop being a baby!"

"I don't want t-"

He should have seen it coming. He just should have seen it coming.

"Sit, boy!"

Bam. I could feel the Earth rumble as the half-demon struck it, face-first. Kagome was sitting above him, looking rather triumphant, a bundle of pulled-out hair in her hand.

"Now, InuYasha..."

She was feigning calm, that's how you know she's really pissed.

"I'm going to try to remain calm, alright? Now..."

She turned to me, and I could see her eyes. She was looking straight at me.

"Miroku, you go with him, make sure he doesn't... Eh, you know, do anything... Stupider"

Maybe InuYasha wasn't such a lucky man after all. I nodded, to terrified to deny her will, and rushed over to InuYasha's side, attempting to rouse him.

"Mmn... Wake up, wake up!" I muttered into his ear, trying to rock him, which was near impossible, since he probably weighed a stone ton.

"G'way, Miroku..." He coughed and sat up, his nose was bleeding. "My ears... 'n.. They're ringing..."

I took him by the arm and got him up, it was like trying to will a corpse into motion. "C'mon InuYasha, let's go get you cleaned up, you're filthy.."

"It's only because Kagome hates me."

"No, don't say that!" I replied, entering the forest via handy trail. "She's very fond of you, you're just... Eh, stubborn."

There was a river not to far from us now, I could hear it, like a whisper, ever changing, forever flowing. Rivers are good things to meditate on, not good things to bathe in.

InuYasha had no problems with modesty, and he was more or less... Uhm... Nude before we were even in sight of the water. He nearly ran into the river, yelping out, shivvering as the frigid cold overtook his body.

I did my best to avert my eyes, but... Oh, truly, who can really resist that sort of thing? You know, how many chances in a lifetime do you have to check out another man's... Uhm... goods? Alright, I'll change the topic, he was splashing about, and the distinct smell of wet dog filled the air. Just as quick as he'd started he was out again, and he literally shook himself dry. Right in front of me, his hair flinging about in all directions. It was quite a remarkable display.

I kept my eyes to the ground and I stepped closer to the half demon, blushing profusely. He picked up his pants and started to slip them on.

"Brr It's cold, Miroku..." He stammered, more out of wanting to say something than out of wishing to say something intelligent.

"In that case..." I replied, turning to face him, smiling, a ribbon of crimson on my cheeks. "...Let me warm you up..." I leaned forward and placed a short kiss on his lips, feeling his entire body recoil, his ears peak. Now, before you ask me why I did this, consider, how many chances do you get to pull that sort of thing? I mean, specifically, being alone together with InuYasha, not very often, trust me, alright?

InuYasha pushed my away, Just like I expected he would, and brought me down, catching my face with his claws, leaving five identical parellel cuts down my cheek. Just like I expected he would, he stood above me, a look of complete scorn in his eyes, and I clung to a tree for support, the bleeding wasn't bad, but it hurt.

"You stupid, stupid, God damned human..." He whispered, stepping closer. Oh God, this was the end, he was going to kill me right here, right now, over what? Over a kiss? Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut? I just knew he would overreact...

He kneeled beside me, and only then I could see the deep scarlet tinge to his cheeks, he brushed his hand along my face, examining the wounds, they would heal, and scars would probably be minimal, considering the bandages were kept fresh.

"Stupid, s-stupid human..." He whispered ""Look at what... You made me d-do..." He leaned down and returned the kiss, his face burning against my own.

That's when I spotted Kagome, looking stunned, holding her hand over her mouth, completely flabbergasted. She was probably blushing harder than the two of us combined.

"SIT, boy!"

Notes:

Alright, I'll update this story when I feel like it, it just depends on how much inspiration I get, multiplied by the number of reviews my readers send me. See? It's called math, dig it.


	2. Another Bite

InuYasha swore, sitting up from the crater he'd dug in the ground, I had been flung clear, but the force of our faces smashing together had given us both quite healthy nosebleeds. 

"I came to tell you dinner was ready.."

Se was feigning calm again. Damn it.

"And what do I find? InuYasha kissing on Miroku, I just didn't know you were... You know, that way with each other..."

"Kagome, it's not what it looks li-"

Kagome turned about, her skirt flying about her knees, she cut him off.

"What could it be, then?"

InuYasha looked towards me, pure scorn in his amber eyes.

"You don't understand, Kagome... He... He made me do it!"

Kagome turned about on her heel, sat InuYasha again, and began walking in the direction of camp, growling to herself.

"Pfft... Boys... Miroku and InuYasha... Boys... Kissing... Inconsiderate... Liar... Inconsiderate... Dirty... Pfft..."

I stood up, grabbed InuYasha by the arm and quickly started following her. She was definitely very upset but,well... I can't say it wasn't worth it! InuYasha groaned and swore loudly at me, but he was either too beat up after three sits that day, or too lazy to actually cause me any realdamage.

We finally reached the clearing where we had set up camp, InuYasha was weak on his knees, but he had gathered enough strength to walk by himself. Kagome was sitting by Sango, and by the looks of it, they were deep in conversation.

We both gathered by the fire, above which a pot of oatmeal bubbled happily. InuYasha was quick to voice his displeasure.

"Eew..! Not oatmeal again"

"InuYasha, you should be more polite, if you want Kagome to forgive you.." I smiled softly, pouring myself a bowl.

"It was all your fault, monk!" InuYasha bit back, his ears flattening against his head "You're just such a pervert!"

I smiled, trying my best not to laugh in his face "Just try to act like... You know, like a gentleman..."

We both started walking in the direction of Sango and Kagome, and I managed to overhear a snippet of the conversation they were having.

"Sango, you wouldn't even be able to guess what I caught Miroku and InuYasha doing..."

InuYasha almost instantly started blushing again as he sat down, taking a spoonful of the oatmeal to his eye level and grimacing.

"InuYasha, don't play with your food, dear..." She turned, grinning, and cupped her hand about Sango's ear, whispering exactly what I knew she would. Sango's face turned a bright pink, and she giggled softly, her eyes skipping from me, to InuYasha, and back to me. I took another bite out of my oatmeal, it was good, if a little bit bland and undercooked.

InuYasha watched the girls and stood up, scowling "I'll be back..." He muttered, turning about in the direction of the fire.

As soon as he was out of hearing distance, Sango leaned forward to me "So, how was it, huh, loverboy?" She buried her face in her hands and exploded into peals of golden laughter, and Kagome joined her. I remained calm, for the most part, wiping the last of the blood from my upper lip. "It's just that..." She continued, smiling, her eyes gleaming "I never though InuYasha could be as perverted as you..!"

After a bit of rummaging in Kagome's backpack, InuYasha returned, a small bottle of soy sauce in one hand, which he began to apply rather liberally to the oatmeal. Kagome frowned and tried to take the sauce from him, "No, nonono, InuYasha, that's no good for you..."

InuYasha jerked it back "I don't care, it tastes good!"

Kagome crossed her hands in front of herself, and Sango supressed a giggle.

"No, if you have too much of that, you'll have a heart attack and die, now give it..."

InuYasha started frantically scooping the soy sauce soaked oatmeal into his mouth, speaking between bites.

"It's not my fault your oatmeal tastes lik-"

InuYasha froze somewhere between the seventh and eighth bite, and dropped the bowl, a healthy amount of oatmeal oozing out onto the ground.

"Mmnghnn..."

He closed his eyes, suddenly clutching his stomach, like he was about to vomit, it was truly remarkable, to watch him go from healthily arguing with Kagome to laying down on his side, curled up in a fetal posion. I leaned over him and patted him softly on the shoulder.

"Inu... InuYasha, are you alright?"

InuYasha nodded softly, coughing.

"Something... I ate something bad..."

Kagome sighed softly, turning the soy sauce upright on the grass.

"Told ya so, InuYasha... Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to judge my cooking..."

I looked at Kagome, frowning "I think he's really sick, Kagome... Let's get him by the fire..."

InuYasha shook his head and staggered to his feet, he was pale as a ghost, and he coughed again. "No... I'm alright.. I'll just... Take a little nap..."

He took a couple steps and collapsed beside the fire, and before long, we could hear snoring.

Kagome yawned softly, watching the sleeping half-demon with envy.

"We'd better call it a night as well, pretty soon..."

"Mmn I agree.." I streched, shaking my hair out, the moon was beautiful.

Sango smiled, leaning up against me. "You know, you should keep your new boytoy company during the night.."

I pondered the question for a second, feeling color rise to my cheeks. "Ehm... I'm going to have to respectfully decline..."

Note: There's your new chapter, dammit. I hope y'all enjoy, or something. What has caused InuYasha's sudden illness? Coming up on the next update! Remember to feed the author, reviews please.


	3. Morning Sickness

The next morning, we awoke to retching.

InuYasha was in the forest, the sun hadn't even risen yet, but he was out there, vomiting like nothing else I'd ever heard.

"It was probably food poisoning..." I said, turning towards Kagome, she nodded in agreement, yawning, but there was still a look of concern on her face.

"Even so, I can't help but worry..." There she was, the good old Kagome I know and love, endlessly caring.

"Probably just food poisoning..." I repeated. I closed my eyes and laid my head back down, trying to block out the sounds of InuYasha's illness, and eventually managed to fall asleep again.

The next time we awoke, it was to screaming.

It was about two and a half hours later, the sun had barely risen, and InuYasha was pitching a fit, gone completely hysterical.

I sprung up and rushed to his side, as fast as I could, at least. My leg had fallen asleep during the night. Both Kagome and Sango were already there, gathered about InuYasha, who, in all honestly, looked a little irritable, to say the least.

"Get away from me! I hate you and your stupid oad-meal!"

No, apparently InuYasha was not enjoying thier company very much.

Kagome brought her hand to his forehead, while Sango moved around and started giving InuYasha an impromptu back massage.

"You've got a fever, InuYasha, you're in no condition to be moving about..."

InuYasha tried to get up, but the very look in Kagome's eyes was enough to remind him that a sit could be right around the corner.

I stepped closer to InuYasha, it was true he looked very unwell, his eyes were unfocused, his ears were lackadaisical, a cold sweat hung on his brow, and he shivvered every couple seconds. God, how I wished it would have been only a common cold, those are simple to cure, a little bit of herbal tea, some acupuncture, maybe. But upon closer examination, it was very clear that something was quite amiss, InuYasha's belly had swollen to at least three times it's usual size, it was the strangest sight I've ever seen.

Shippo wandered up to the group, rubbing his eyes, "What's goin' on, Kagome?" He streched, his tail going straight a second, before relaxing. "Mmn InuYasha woke me up... Woah, what's this?"

Shippo poked up through between the two girls and examined InuYasha's tummy, poking it. "O, super cool!"

InuYasha swore again, getting very very pissed, very very slowly. Kagome berated him by smacking him softly on the head, wagging her finger while he rolled his eyes.

"You should know not to use that sort of language around Shippo! We're supposed to be a good influence!"

Meanwhile, Shippou was prodding ceaselessly at his stomach, pressing his palms up against the bloated flesh. "Mmrnm..." All of a sudden, he yelped and leapt back, landing squarely on his behind.

Sango looked up "What's wrong, Shippo?"

Shippo brushed himself off and stood up, gazing towards the bulge. "It... InuYasha's stomach... Inside... Something's kicking..."

InuYasha's eyes widened and he moaned again weakly. "Then kick the bastard back..." He muttered, burping, his entire face was white, like a ghost's. "Mmn It hurts..."

This was certainly an odd situaton, I kneeled to feel his stomach and well, and, lo and behold, it pulsed. I widthdrew, wiping my hand on my robes. "It looks

like some sort of parasite... Hmm... Maybe InuYasha's right, we should try to..." I searched a second for the word, taking hold of my staff. "Agitate it..."

With that, I rammed my staff directly into his stomach, knocking the wind out of InuYasha. As soon as he caught his breath, this was all he could say "You'll pay for that.."

I smiled, patting him on the head "You can thank me later"

His face suddenly regained a bit of color, and he pushed away Kagome and Sango, bolting off to the woods. We heard more retching.

Author's note: Sorry for the delay on this update, you guys, I sort of went to Colorado for spring break and forgot to tell y'all about it. So, uh, you know, if you dig, just read/review, alright? You have a nice day.


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